Indiscretions
by MAndrews
Summary: Every action has consequences, and sometimes angels aren't so perfect. Not a fluffy story.
1. Unexpected Results

Disclaimer: This is Joss's world, I'm just playing in it.

* * *

Simon waited outside the bathroom until Kaylee emerged. She was pale and shaky. Simon took her arm and gently set her down on the couch.

"Kay, bao bei, please, just let me run a few blood tests."

"It ain't nothin sweetie."

"You've thrown up every morning for the last three days." Her brushed a damp lock of hair from her cheek. "Please Kaylee, just let me run a few blood tests. If I don't find anything, I'll stop fussing, I promise."

Kaylee gave a mock exasperated sigh, but Simon could see the twinkle in her eyes. "Alright, fine." Simon didn't waste any time, he pulled Kaylee to her feet and half dragged her to the infirmary. He took the blood sample quickly, before she could change her mind, prepped it and slid it into the scanner.

"So can I go do some work now?" she teased. Simon smiled at her and kissed her gently.

"Yeah. The tests should take about an hour. I'll come find you then. If you get sick again before that though, come tell me." Kaylee grinned and kissed him back before sashaying out. She glanced back and caught the look he was giving her. She grinned again and silently thanked Inara.

Simon shook himself, and turned his attention back to his work. He busied himself tidying up his shelves and updating his records while he waited for the tests to finish running and his machine to spit out the report. When it beeped an hour later, he scanned through the script quickly and then sat down abruptly, his head spinning.

He stared blankly at the faintly glowing screen for a moment before shaking his head. It wasn't possible, it just wasn't. He stood up resolutely and ran a second sample through a very specific test. The result took fifteen minutes. It was the same as the first time. Simon refused to accept what he was seeing and kept running and re-running the tests. When he ran out of Kaylee's blood, he took a sample of his own. He ran the same test he ran every two weeks and the result was the same as it always was. He didn't like the results any better. He took a second sample and ran that until he ran out. When the last report had popped up and been read, Simon went looking for Kaylee. She was just leaving the engine room.

"Hey sweetie, I was wondering where you'd got to. Thought your tests were only gonna take an hour?"

"I need another blood sample."

Kaylee frowned. "I thought you always took a sample big enough to run a couple if ya had to." She stepped toward him anxiously. There was something in his tone that worried her.

"I do. I did. It wasn't enough."

"If'n you want another sample cause the first one didn't show you anything, I ain't giving you one."

Simon shook his head impatiently. "I found something. I need to confirm it."

"Is it somethin bad?" Kaylee asked, shifting uneasily and trying to find some reassurance in his eyes.

"Just come give me another sample Kaylee, I want to get these tests run." He turned on his heel and strode away. Chewing anxiously on her lip, Kaylee hurried after him. She let him take another sample and watched him prep it for the tests.

"You gonna come have lunch while the tests run?"

"No, I need to keep an eye on it." He wouldn't look at her and Kaylee's feeling of unease intensified.

"I can wait with ya," she offered.

"I'd rather you didn't Kaylee. You need to eat something." Knowing she'd been dismissed, Kaylee slid off the stool and made her way slowly to the door.

"Simon...if ya found something really wrong, you'd tell me wouldn't ya? Even if you weren't sure yet?"

"I haven't found anything seriously wrong with your blood." He still didn't turn to look at her and Kaylee left reluctantly. As she headed for the mess she wondered if she should ask River what was bothering her brother. But River had been acting a bit off towards her lately and Kaylee wasn't sure she'd get an understandable answer out of the younger girl.

Kaylee picked at her lunch and kept glancing at the door, hoping to see Simon appear. But by the time lunch finished, he still hadn't appeared. She'd been hoping no one would notice her mood, but she should have known that the captain or Inara wouldn't; and that they wouldn't let her get away without telling them what was wrong.

"Kaylee, mei mei, what's wrong? Are you and Simon fighting?" Inara had moved to sit beside her friend and slipped an arm around her shoulder. Mal leaned forward to hear her answer.

"I don't think so, but he's acting kinda weird." She paused and looked towards the door again before continuing. "I wasn't feelin well this morning, I told him it weren't nothin, but he insisted I let him run some tests. So I did, and he was supposed to find me when they were done, but he didn't show up til just before lunch, and then he wouldn't tell me what he found, just demanded another sample. And he won't look at me." She said this all very fast and when she finished she could feel that her eyes were wet.

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about." Inara said soothingly. "He'd tell you if he'd found something wrong. Maybe River's having a bad day, or maybe he messed something up on the first tests and doesn't want to tell you that. You know how he gets sometimes." Kaylee wanted to be reassured, but she knew Inara well enough to know she wasn't entirely sure either.

"Go make him tell you what's wrong." Mal advised.

"I guess I should. But...the way he was actin. He seemed angry and he wouldn't look at me. He ain't never done that before."

Inara squeezed her shoulder comfortingly but before she could say anything, River appeared in the door.

"Simon's done with his tests. He needs to talk to you." The chill in her voice made Kaylee shiver as the younger girl disappeared without waiting for a response.

"And there's that too. River's been mad at me for near a month now, and I still can't figure why!"

"It's probably nothing personal." Inara soothed.

"I suppose. But now both Tams are mad at me, and I don't know why."

"I'm sure Simon's not really mad at you. Do you want me to go with you to talk to him?"

Kaylee sighed and stood up. "Nah, I'll be all right." She managed a small smile for the captain, trying to ease the frown on his face. The smile he gave her was a little grim, but she took it anyway.

Simon was waiting for her when she reached the infirmary. She smiled at him hopefully, but his cold expression didn't change. She fidgeted anxiously with a flap on her pocket. "Did ya find somethin?"

"I did." His voice was even colder than his eyes.

"Is it...what is it Simon?" She could feel tears in her eyes again and she tried to think what kind of sick could make Simon mad at her. It didn't make any kind of sense.

Simon regarded her for a moment then said, in the stiffest voice Kaylee had ever heard, "You're pregnant."


	2. Conversations

Disclaimer: Still Joss's world, still just playing.

* * *

Kaylee gaped at Simon for a moment, one hand automatically going to her stomach. "Pregnant? I'm gonna have a baby?"

Simon pressed his lips together and turned away. "Yes, you are."

Kaylee took a moment to absorb the news then looked back at her lover. She could read the tension and anger in every movement though she couldn't see his face. Kaylee started to feel a little angry herself. "Are ya sure?"

"Oh very sure," he responded bitterly. "I couldn't believe it at first, that's why I kept running new tests. But you are, Kaylee, you are most definitely pregnant."

Kaylee stared at him for a moment, shocked and hurt by the accusation in his voice, and by his continued refusal to actually look at her.

"I didn't exactly do this on purpose, ya know!"

"I didn't think you did. That's not really the point though, is it?"

"What's that supposed ta mean? You're as much at fault as I am!"

"Actually, I'm not."

That was when the shouting started. Mal walked in on it several minutes later. Kaylee was in tears and Simon was slamming little bottles around without any apparent purpose.

"I can't believe how...how stupid you're bein!" Kaylee shouted.

"Me? I'm the one being stupid?"

"Yes! And mean! We're havin a baby, and you're acting like I betrayed you!"

"I can't have children!"

Kaylee, already crying, started sobbing and ran out of the room. Simon muttered something under his breath and leaned against the counter, rubbing his temples.

"Kaylee's pregnant?" Mal asked. Simon jumped a little and Mal continued. "You got my mechanic pregnant, and now you're blaming her?"

"I didn't..." Simon started, but Mal cut him off.

"I don't want to hear it!" He stomped out of the infirmary and went to find Kaylee. He was not surprised to find her in Inara's shuttle. She was crying, more quietly now, into Inara's lap.

Kaylee didn't see him come in any more than she'd seen him when she ran past him a few minutes earlier. But Inara saw him.

"Mal..."

Mal sat down on the couch just behind Kaylee. "Mei mei, you all right?" There was a muffled sob. Mal laid a hand on her shoulder. "Kaylee, I heard you and Simon shouting at each other."

"I didn't mean ta get pragnant captain!" Kaylee wailed, sitting up. "And Simon won't admit that this is as much his fault as mine."

Mal saw Inara's eyes widen in surprise. "Kaylee!" Kaylee twisted to look at her friend. "Are you serious? You're pregnant?" When Kaylee nodded Inara sighed. "Oh Kaylee!"

"What's your problem?" Mal demanded, irked by the disappointed note in Inara's voice. "Ain't like Kaylee's got access to your whore birth control methods."

Inara didn't react to the barb but shook her head sadly. "Mal, get out. Kaylee and I need to talk." Mal opened his mouth to object but Inara cut him off. "This is a private conversation Mal, get out."

Annoyed by her presumption, but not in a mood to lose another argument to her, Mal stood up and stalked out of the shuttle. As soon as the door shut behind him, Inara turned to Kaylee. "Oh Kaylee, what did you do?"

Surprised by the unexpected lack of sympathy, Kaylee pulled back. "Nara!"

Inara leaned forward and took Kaylee's hand again. "I know you didn't mean to get pregnant..." she began, but Kaylee jumped up, sniffling angrily.

"I can't believe you're takin his side!" The sadness and disappointment in Inara's face made Kaylee feel even worse than the nausea. "Ain't no birth control method perfect! It's gotta be Simon's! All the time I spent in his bed, it can't..." she broke off in a sob. "It's Simon's baby, Nara!" She looked pleadingly at her friend but didn't find any reassurance.

- - -

"That don't sound like Simon." Zoe said.

Mal ignored this. "I've half a mind to space him."

"There's gotta be a reason."

"A reason? What possible reason could excuse the way he's treating Kaylee?"

"I don't necessarily disagree with you sir. I'm just saying it doesn't seem like Simon." Mal bit back a snarky response and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I suppose it don't at that. But we've been wrong 'bout people before."

"Wash and I talked about having a baby."

Mal blinked at her, startled by the abrupt change to such a personal thought. "Zo?"

"He was scared. Wouldn't admit it, kept saying he didn't think a smuggling ship was a safe place to raise little ones. But I knew my husband; he was scared. Scared he wouldn't be a good father."

Mal regarded her for a moment. "You thinkSimon's panicking about being a parent?" Zoe shrugged. Mal shook his head. "Boy practically raised his sister."

"And feels he failed her." Off Mal's look she shrugged again. "Inara and I talk on occasion. Simon didn't protect River, she got hurt. And he's still a wanted fugitive, and we know that puts people associated with him at risk."

"Still don't excuse the way he's treating Kaylee." Mal asserted.

A sound from the crew quarters attracted their attention and Mal moved to the door in time to see Kaylee disappearing into her bunk. Glancing briefly at Zoe, he jumped down the stairs and went after her. Jayne was just coming out of his bunk and Mal heard him come down behind him.

- - - - - - - - - -

Simon and Inara were, uncharacteristically, sitting on the floor of the infirmary. Simon had his head on his crossed arms and Inara had a hand on his elbow. River, kneeling on his other side was intent on apologizing to her brother.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"It's not your fault River."

"I should have told you. I should have told you before, I should have known his fishes swam like yours don't." River sniffed unhappily and leaned against her brother. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to be the one to tell you." Simon lifted his head and slid an arm around his sister's shoulder.

"At least now I know why you've been avoiding her."

"Are you absolutely sure it isn't yours?" Inara asked without any real hope.

Simon sighed. "I ran the tests on myself 27 times; it's not mine. I still can't father a child."

"Are you sure Kaylee's really pregnant?"

"I ran that test 20 times." He paused for a moment, staring blankly into space. "I just don't understand it. She went a year without sleeping with anyone, then suddenly she can't last three days?"

Zoe stood in the doorway staring at them and feeling sick. River was the first one who noticed her, peeking at her from behind Simon's shoulder. She met Zoe's gaze with sad, knowing eyes. Simon and Inara looked to see what she was looking at. Zoe saw Simon tense when she saw him and realized he was expecting another lecture.

"Knew there had to be a reason." Zoe said quietly. She figured Inara and River could look after Simon so she left them to it. She strode through the ship and ended up outside Kaylee's bunk. Jayne hadn't closed the door when he followed Mal down and Zoe could hear their voices drifting up. She listened for a moment; Mal was assuring Kaylee that Simon would come around or deal with Mal, and Jayne was just generally denouncing Simon as a stuck up core-bred hun dan.

Zoe climbed down down into Kaylee's bunk.

"Please stop," Kaylee said quietly. She sounded miserable. "He's right. Simon's right."

Mal and Jayne both shut up in shock and Zoe spoke into the silence. "Yes he is. And 47 tests is how much he didn't want to be."


	3. Discussion

Disclaimer: Joss's world, not mine.

Author's Note: It ends a little awkwardly I think, but better that than forced which is where it was heading.

There may or may not be a another chapter. I've done what I set out to do and only have vague ideas what I think happens next.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Jayne was not a stupid man. He was not always very bright, but he wasn't really stupid. He also knew a fair amount about the workings of the female body, so it did not take him long to put the pieces together. Mal was staring at Kaylee, looking a little bewildered. Jayne decided he needed to get gone and behind a locked door before Mal recovered enough to start putting the pieces together too. He backed towards the ladder.

"We were in the Black three weeks ago." Mal said in a strangled voice, just as Jayne grabbed the first rung.

"I really thought it was Simon's." Kaylee sniffed. Jayne was up the ladder before Mal finished his second strangled noise.

"You gave Kaylee fish."

Jayne's heart nearly stopped and he stared frozen at the tiny little reader who had obviously been waiting for him. He automatically checked her hands for weapons. She didn't appear armed, but he didn't feel any safer; he knew too well that she didn't need them.

"Ain't my fault your brother was ignoring her," Jayne muttered defensively, wondering if there was any way he could get by her.

River placed one tiny hand on his chest, fingers flexed like claws. "Say that again."

Jayne retreated and nearly fell back into Kaylee's bunk. "She came onta me!"

"You knew she was lonely and you took advantage of her."

"We was just talkin! I never thought she'd try to make anything of it!"

River gave him a disgusted look and stalked off. Jayne lunged towards his bunk and started down the ladder just as Mal started hollering at him from Kaylee's bunk.

Inara had come into the kitchen to get some tea and heard Mal yelling for Jayne. She was not surprised when Kaylee slunk into the mess a few moments later while Mal pounded on Jayne's bunk door.

Kaylee glanced uncertainly at Inara before sitting down at the table. Inara wanted to be mad at her on Simon's behalf, but when she started crying she set the tea things aside and touched her friend's shoulder.

"I really thought it had to be Simon's," Kaylee whispered.

"Kaylee..." Inara began.

Kaylee lifted her head and brushed at her cheeks without looking at Inara. "I know he said he can't have children, but when he told me I was pregnant, I thought sure he had to be wrong."

"But you knew you'd slept with Jayne," Inara pointed out.

"I weren't sure, really. That whole weekend's kinda fuzzy really." She paused for a moment and Inara saw her face screw up. "He hates me, doesn't he?"

Inara sighed. "I don't know Kaylee." Inara glanced in the direction of the passenger dorms and stood up as Mal stormed in, having given up on dragging Jayne out of his bunk for the moment. "He's hurt and confused Kaylee, but I don't know that he hates you." She gathered the tea things, poured the now boiling water into a pot and slipped out of the room.

Mal waited until she left to address the girl he thought of as a little sister. "Mei mei, what were you thinking? I mean, I weren't never happy bout you sleepin with the doc, but he's a good sight better than Jayne! Jayne ain't...he ain't right for you. Why would you sleep with him?"

Kaylee looked up at him briefly but couldn't hold his gaze. She concentrated on her hands and spoke quietly. "Simon and I were fightin bout somethin and then River had that episode and then Simon got sick. I was feelin lonely and sorry for myself and I...I had a little too much a my own engine wine and Jayne found me and ... we was just talking cap'n!"

"Talkin don't get people pregnant Kaylee."

Kaylee sniffled again. "Didn't mean to do any more than talk. We got to talkin bout home and family and we went back to my bunk so I could show him some captures I think and I dunno what happened."

Mal sighed and sat down. "Think it's pretty clear what happened."

Kaylee sniffed. "Yeah, guess it is."

They sat silently for several moments. Mal was thinking morosely that this is why he'd tried to forbid shipboard relationships. Eventually he sighed and stood up.

"Cap'n?"

Mal paused and looked at her. "You gonna raise the baby on my ship?"

Kaylee looked down again. "Ain't really thought about it yet."

"Best you start thinking about it." Mal sighed again and looked at the door. "And I think I'd better go see if I can apologize to Simon."

Simon accepted a cup of tea from Inara and sat back as River took one too.

"It would be wrong to poison Jayne," Simon sighed, picking up the conversation once Inara had poured her own tea. He sounded disappointed.

"I don't think so," River disagreed. She was relieved to see a brief smile cross Simon's face.

"Are you alright Simon?" Inara asked.

Simon stared at the ceiling. "I don't know. I really should have seen this coming, we've been drifting for a while, but...Jayne! Why did she have to sleep with Jayne?"

Inara frowned. "Drifting?"

Simon shrugged tiredly. "It was...fun. And it was good. But...I've been feeling for a while that I was looking for more of a relationship than Kaylee was."

"She cares about you." Inara said softly.

"So do you, it doesn't mean we're meant to be together. It doesn't mean there's anything more. I'd hoped..." he sighed and put his untouched tea on the table and leaned her elbows on his knees, rubbing at his face. "I'd really hoped that Kaylee and I could be more than just friends, but I don't think that's what she wanted. For all that she wanted me to be romantic, she wasn't really interested in developing anything beyond our sex life and I ... I don't think I'm adventurous enough for her in that respect."

"She wouldn't have waited so long for you to pay attention if all she wanted was sex," Inara said quickly, and a little defensively.

"I know it was more than that," Simon started.

"Just not as much as it was to you," River put in.

Simon sighed and stared at the abandoned tea cup. "Whatever Kaylee wanted, it wasn't something serious. And I just...I don't really see the point of a relationship that doesn't have that potential." He sighed again. "We should have ended it before now."

"Then why didn't you?"

Simon shrugged. "I don't know, but I really wish we had."


End file.
